As I am writing this, I am going through it. So, it is quite poignant for me right now.
I have been through it before, and now I know what to expect (sort of, because you can never truly know).
Significant Change is Terrifying
When facing something new, making a significant change to the status quo…the fear is so thick you could cut it with a knife. This feels like a vice grip squeezing the life out of you. It grips you in the gut and the heart.
At this moment, everything feels life-threatening. Your mind and body are screaming “NO.”
Significant Change is Exhilarating
The idea of making this change is also exhilarating. If you can see yourself in the change, in the future, feeling fulfilled, obtaining the achievement, living the new life…it is exciting.
It’s a Choice
At this point, you have a choice…you can fall back to the comfort of the status quo. You can go right back to what you were doing before, and you will get what you have always gotten.
You can walk through the fear. You can let go of the old thoughts, limiting beliefs and stuck behaviors to the place you desperately want to reach. You can continue down the path of change.
You Will Try to Protect You from Significant Change
These new ideas and actions feel seriously dangerous. Your mind wants to keep you safe from the new and different thoughts, beliefs and behaviors that are terrifying. So, as you are trying to make the change, your whole being is trying to keep you stuck, for safety’s sake.
The truth is there are very few people who can look at their life, decide to make a significant change, and make the change. We can make slight course corrections reasonably easily, but we stall out when it comes to considerable change. The fear keeps us safe; it keeps us stuck.
Reach Out for Support to Change
In my experience, this is where you must reach out for help. You need someone in your corner to keep you on track through the change. And yes, I have support. I have coaches who help me. And yes, it costs money, but it will be worth it.
You can rely on friends, family, spouses, etc. However, they will probably sense your fear…it will scare them too. Their goal is to keep you happy. Change is uncomfortable, so they will probably guide you right back to stuck. It is not their fault; they are doing what they believe is best for you.
I can speak to this because I have experienced it in my own life, AND I have seen it countless times in my practice. My friends and family want only what is best for me, and significant change scares them too.
Your Soul Knows
Here is the kicker, while your mind and body are screaming “NO,” your soul knows.
Your soul is calling in the change. Your soul, your most profound, inner knowing, wants this change. This change will help you achieve what you want in this life, and it will move you forward on your soul path, on your soul journey.
The longing of the soul to make this change is what will keep propelling you toward it, no matter how many times you start and go back to comfortable. You will keep finding yourself face to face with the decision to make this change.
You may not make the change your lifetime. You may keep walking up to the change and then turning away.
Just identifying the change can feel like a genuine breakthrough, but staying the course through the change is when the real breakthrough happens; when you change your life, that is the breakthrough. When you walk through the fear and take action to make the change, that is the breakthrough.
You just making the change, though, is not enough either. You must stay in the change. You must make it the new status quo, and that takes determination (and usually some help). It will get complicated, and you will want to go back.
You have to become single-minded about the change. You have to shut out all the noise, silence the naysayers and the self-doubt.
The Hidden Truth is Change = Fear of the Unknown
The hidden truth about this process is not that your mind and body are fighting against what the soul wants desperately for you. However, it is probably a hidden truth too.
The hidden truth is the unknown terrifies you. You know, even if it is at a subconscious level, that this change will change everything. It will change you, your relationships, your perspective, your thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors.
You want to know ahead of time that this change will be for the better and that all these things that provide you comfort will still be there for you.
But, you know on a soul level that this may not be true.
The hidden truth is that you have to freefall into all of this! Whatever changes in your life that come are precisely what is necessary to propel you on your path, on your journey through life. You need to get ok with letting this change touch all the things in your life. You need to trust your soul that this change is what you need.
It Happened for Me
When I was extremely sick six years ago, and I had to change everything in my life to get well. I took this leap of faith that this change that I was making were for my own good.
I had all the research that said I had to change my lifestyle completely to get well, but it still terrified me.
I would lie in bed at night and think about what all this change would mean. How would it change me fundamentally as a person, how would it change my relationships, what would people think about the new me, would they still like me?
I had to do it, anyway! I had to take action.
Action Propels You to Walk Through the Fear of Change
Before I could take action, though, I had to have a plan, a road map of steps to take (and yes, I had help with this too–I sought a Dr, read tons of books, watched documentaries, and followed 100s of blogs. Podcasts weren’t a thing back then or I would have listened to those too.)
Once I had my roadmap, I had to get up every morning and take action. I had to do those new things. I had to think the new thoughts, develop new beliefs and practice the new behaviors.
I wish I could say that I could let go of the fear, but I don’t know that is possible. It terrified me.
I walked through it.
Flex that Change Muscle
I did this process of change again when I became a holistic healer and coach, again when I got divorced, and again when COVID happened, and I took my business online.
In flexing this muscle of change through action that many times in a short time, I can almost say that this quote is accurate.
“I’m not afraid of storms, for I’m learning how to sail my ship.”
–Louisa May Alcott
It is almost true for me because I still feel the fear. In that moment of fear, though, I decide to walk through the fear because I am learning to sail my ship.
It is not such a leap of faith for me now because I have proof that it will be ok. And if it is not ok, I can correct and steer my ship to where it is ok. I can sail my ship to where it is better than ok…to where it is fulfilling.
Learn to Sail Your Ship
You can do this too. Once you know the hidden truth about significant change and are willing to walk through the fear…you will learn to sail your ship. You will sail your ship to breakthroughs and achievements.
Let Me Hear from You
Have you experienced this in the past when you were creating change in your life? Do you know someone who is going through change and needs to read this right now? Please share it and drop me a comment if you can relate. Do you have a significant change that you keep walking up to and then walking away back to comfort?